The World is Out to Get Me

I turned 30 a few weeks ago.  And as I strolled through the mall enjoying my day off, I received this email:

Hi Melissa (does anyone call you Missy anymore?).

 

I've sent you a few emails here and there over the past couple years. Either you're not getting them or you're afraid to talk to me. I don't know which. In any case, I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. :-) I hope you are having a great day.

 

Your friend,

Brian

Ok, first off, I haven't answered your last 6 emails, why are you emailing me again, and on my birthday you asshole??  By far my favorite part of this is the "Either you're not getting them or you're afraid to talk to me" line.  It's like his mind can't conceive of the notion that I don't want to talk to him.  And afraid of him?!  Yeah, afraid he'll stalk me!  Which he totally is doing!  He's such a fucking idiot.  He needs to get a life and stop trying to communicate with me.

Then yesterday, I received a LinkedIn invitation from the ex who shattered my heart in college.  It wasn't just the site-generated invitation either.  He wrote a short note with it asking where I was and what was I doing now.  I think I may have stopped breathing for a minute.  After consulting with Rachel (a true savior in times of crisis), I accepted the invitation and wrote him a cordial response, and expected that that would be it.  No, he's been sending me responses all day long.  What gives dude?!  You callously ditch me with no explanation, completely disappear for 9 years, and now you're super chatty?  What bad karma is this?  Is this payback for mocking Brian?  Isn't him stalking me bad enough?