Remember when my douchebag ex emailed me wanting to know if I wanted to be update on his life? Well, he did it again:
Brian
Uh, no. You were not still wondering if this is still my email address. You were hoping you'd get an answer this time. And yes, I know you'd just love to update me on your life now, but do you honestly think I want to hear it? Are you hoping that whatever it is you're dying to tell me (maybe that you finally got a job? or that you moved out of your mother's house?) will make me want to get back together with you? Or even make me think that you are suddenly worth my time?
And why the hell do you think I'd want to give you an update on my life? Do you want to hear how incredibly happy I am and how great my life is without you? Actually, that would entertain me. I bet you think I've been miserable without you, living at home with my parents, unemployed, fat and sad. No honey, that's you. I've been great - new city, great boyfriend, still have awesome friends and made a bunch of new ones. Got a ridiculous job that, yeah, stresses me out, but is so totally worth it. At the end of the day, I come home to a house I own. Did I mention that the great boyfriend lives there too? I didn't? Oh, well, he does. And it's great. I don't count the minutes until he leaves like I did when you stayed over. You didn't realize I did that? Well, you always were pretty clueless. As much as I'd love to rub all that in your face, I won't. You'd probably just use the information to stalk me. Don't think Rachel didn't tell me you tried to friend her on Facebook. She's my best friend, remember? Dumbass.
Anyway, I didn't answer him. I consulted with Rachel and considered sending a reply that simply said No, but in the end, we all know he'd take that as a sign that I was open to conversation. And as sweet a revenge it would be to let him know that him dumping me allowed me to create a much better life for myself, I really have nothing to say to him that my silence can't say better.
Comments